look how they shine for you

her.

Trixie
16 years old, trapped in an 11-year old's body
loves the scent of: cupboards, air conditioners, coffee, cinammon, and Bayo (as in the store)
moods too easily swayed by whatever music is playing
fickle, undecided, impatient, paranoid
Jason Mraz ♥
likes things clean, but is pretty messy
interested in photography (haha as if)
out of words

Thursday, November 29, 2007!

HandWritten on; 6:39 PM

I am the biggest loser ever. I spent the whole night (literally since 5:30 which was when i got home until around 11 which was when i was about to sleep) holed up in my room, sprawled on my yellow comforters, READING. Demmet, I could've called my cousin up and go somewhere but nooooo, I was too busy being such a dead kid, reading Meg Cabot's Pants on Fire (courtesy of Genine Go, thankyouverymuch). I super missed Meg Cabot since the last time I read any of her work was probably, like a year and a half ago, long before we were bombarded with Noli, The Catcher in the Rye (my term paper novel), Mag-anak na Cruz, and Merchant. Imagine my dismay when I realized Pants on Fire was just okay, and not something I found particularly special. I used to think HIGHLY of Meg Cabot's novels, but now I realize Papa's right--I will get over the Meg Cabot phase. I don't know, her plots seem to be so repetitive, and her style is way overused. It's still fun reading her books, but... you know, it's not the kind of thing you'd think about over and over even long after you put it down unlike how I was with Stardust.

Anyway, let's talk about school. Can I just say I'm having so much fun in our seating arrangement? I swear, I can't help laughing every single minute and for very very very small things. Grabe kasi talaga si Laraine, titignan mo lang matatawa ka na :)) Ang stoic kasi ng itsura eh, pero sa totoo super funny ng sinasabi (kahit hindi niya sinasadya). Tapos ewan ko ba, si Bea and si Genine tawa rin ng tawa. Pero ako ata yung pinaka. Kasi naman ako pinakamalapit kay Laraine! Hindi mo kailangan humithit ng drugs or ng pentel or ng rugby pag katabi mo yun. HIGH ka agad =)) Hay, feeling ko nga ang ingay ingay ko sa upuan ko. Oh well, self control. Haha. Bea, don't forget the tamarind candy :))

Okay, I've got to get going. Derma appointment. Tsktsk. I'm not ready for the pain yet :/

Stupid zits.

Wednesday, November 28, 2007!

HandWritten on; 12:19 AM

My last post was more than dramatic :)) It's funny how my mood changes so suddenly and how it always shifts from one extreme to the other. Last night I was depressed as hell and now I'm happy. I heard someone important acknowledge me today. Thank you, Mrs. Aguilar. I needed to hear that, cause I was starting to feel like a crappy writer/editor :)) Anywaaaaaaaaay, went to Ice Cream House with iii1 friends (you see, ice cream has been a huge part of my day, but i won't pain you with reading about the bad/sad thing that ice cream gave me today. let's focus only on the happy part, shall we? after all, we better be careful. too much ice cream can cause serious stomach ache ;) ). It was so funny cause while we were crossing the street, Pink (who, like me, still doesn't know how to cross Banaue or any street for that matter, by herself) was getting a little nervous. When we got to the other side, she was like "OMG. BUHAY PA TAYO! ANG GALIIIIIING!" =)) =)) Hahahaha. I so need to start being street smart :)) Okay, that's all :)

---edit
By the way, I'm getting a bit excited for Merchant of Venice. I took the modern script from Sparknotes--thank God for No Fear Shakespeare!!--and printed out my group's act which is act 4. I know it's too early to go through lines for next year's presentation, but I just looooove Portia's lines! She seems so... smart and witty and gutsy. Love the character, even if I have to be dressed up as a man since she was disguised as a lawyer in that chapter :)

Monday, November 26, 2007!

HandWritten on; 6:41 AM

Just when I thought I'd lose it, just when all the bad thoughts started sinking into my damaged brain, just when I thought I was on the brink of eternal damnation, just when I was ready to give up all hope and freaking self-worth, someone saves my sanity with the three words of acknowledgment I badly needed to hear. It's in times like these when I thank God for giving me my dad. Demmet, I'm almost crying.

Thank you. Thank you God.

Sunday, November 25, 2007!

HandWritten on; 5:28 AM

In dire need of a lifestyle change. This addiction to the internet seriously needs to be controlled, at least until I shed off the (gasp!) fat growing on my thighs, which according to Mama, is caused by long periods of being seated. Demmet. I need to resist this freaking temptation and stop being so relaxed on the computer chair. Bye bye for now, computer. I hope I can live without you.

Friday, November 23, 2007!

HandWritten on; 8:17 PM

It takes me forever to do what I actually have to do on the computer after turning it on. The lure of the internet is just way too strong to refuse, and as I switch the UPS and the CPU on, I can almost hear this tiny voice telling me to bend a little further and switch the DSL on as well. Temptations. Tsktsk. But whatever, I'm here blogging anyway, so I might as well finish it, right? I mean, hello, if I sign out right now and start answering TEN activities for Religion, I would be wasting four blog-post-worthy sentences (and the three minutes I spent thinking and typing it). So I'm deciding I'd finish this blog entry. And NO, I'm not procrastinating. Really. ;)

Forgive me for being slightly disoriented today. Wala ako sa ulirat, e. Okay, let me start my story-telling. I had the best Friday night yesterday. Okay, I'm exaggerating a bit, but I really had a lot of fun. First I went to Yennie's house cause Friday is our park day, and we were supposed to go swing-ing. But plans changed and I don't regret not being able to go on the swing one bit :)) Basta, I won't blog about it in detail cause my cousin does have the right to a private life and me blabbing about it here would be tantamount to stripping her of it but HAHAHAHAHA. I'm really really really happy for her. The whole thing happened in such a comic way, and I had tons of fun seeing her turn into this extremely giddy, nervous, slightly awkward, and happy... CREATURE. It was as if I was watching a baduy Filipino movie starring Kim and Gerald (NOT that I watched "I've Fallen For You" or anything =)) ). Haha. It was such a typical scene, almost too fictionally ordinary to be seen in real life. I loved it. I could just imagine my tita thinking and talking like Remy in Mag-Anak na Cruz =))

ANYWAY, after that we all went to the movies (me, mama, alyssa, chot, my cousins nikka and archie, their mom, tita weng, my cousins ate yen, ate am, and their mom aka Remy, mama winnie) to watch Enchanted. I wouldn't go as far as saying the movie was really really really good, but it was fun and funny. Loved Patrick Dempsey, of course :D

Would everyone be so kind as to tolerate my being too girly? I just really need to get all of this out of my system, cause I fear that I'd turn into this boy-crazy, adik-sa-crush type. Let me enumerate, so I could shut up about it after this blog entry. Here is my growing list of unreachables--my favorite type of crushes :))

(Arranged from least to greatest, according to how much I fancy them right now)

(Arrangement may be changed in the future)

6. Ben McKenzie

While every girl went gaga over Seth Cohen in The OC, Ryan Atwood's bad boy charm was seriously wooing me. Hahaha. Don't get me wrong, I like Seth Cohen and his dorky comic books and all, but I just like Ryan a bit more :)

5. Penn Badgley

You might have seen him on John Tucker Must Die where he played the role of "the other Tucker." He had long hair then and I didn't find him particularly cute but when I saw him play the role of Dan Humphrey on the novel-turned-tv-show Gossip Girl. Ayayay. Yun na yun :))

4. Patrick Stump

Yeah, yeah, everyone loves Pete Wentz. He's so hot, he's so cute, blah blah blah blah. Whatever. Have you ever heard Patrick sing?? I know I should be more attracted to Pete who writes FOB's brilliant lyrics but hello?? HAVE YOU EVER HEARD PATRICK SING??? HAVE YOU???

3. Channing Tatum

The definition of hottness. Seriously. Watch She's the Man, Coach Carter and Step Up and you'll know what I'm talking about. In the scenes where he gets mad or irritated, observe how his jaw clenches. HAHAHA. Basta, amazing :))

2. Patrick Dempsey

MCDREAMY. His alias says it all :)

Dream T-shirt: THIS will make me happy on Christmas. HAHA.

1. Jason Mraz

Dorky? Kinda weird? Sure. He may not be HOT. He doesn't have movie-star good looks. But I just looooooove Jason Mraz. His voice is amazing, his lyrics are GREAT. Check his blog. He writes SOOOOO well. I'm making a promise to myself that I'd never get married in the future unless he's the groom =)) LOVE LOVE LOVE him :)

----------------------

Last thing: I finally figured out who my favorite f.r.i.e.n.d. is. It's Phoebe Buffay :)) She's the funniest. I love "Smelly Cat" (download it! :p) I could sing it all day. Yeah yeah, I know it's a little too late to appreciate F.R.I.E.N.D.S. but whatever. Haha. I think an hour and thirty minutes is enough for procrastination's sake, don't you think? Time to face two activities each for Commandments 6 to 10 =))

Saturday, November 17, 2007!

HandWritten on; 11:05 PM

I stumbled across a video of the old Avril Lavigne singing "Things I'll Never Say" live and I'm currently watching her old videos on Youtube. I don't know why, but I'm having goosebumps all over, especially when she sings "come on, just leave me alone a little while.." and, "and i wanna believe you, when you tell me that it'll be okay.. yeah i try to believe you.. not today." I'm kind of sorta on the verge of tears right now. Watch this. It's a live version of Tomorrow, a sad song from her first album. I remember when I was still obsessed with her. Haha. I memorized all the songs in her first two albums by heart. I loved her when she was punk rock and angst-y.

Now, let's stop there, and not go into how she's turned into this Britney clone. Watch the video, it's so beautiful.

HandWritten on; 2:02 AM

Went to the Potential Leaders Training today. It was f-u-n. Haha. Spent most of the time with Rina, Kim, and Lourdes Sabellina of iii4. Tapos mingle mingle din with people. Naisip ko, kahit na ayokong sabihin at aminin (in case na mabasa ni ms. suico/mrs de lara yung blog ko. kasi ako yung super violent reaction last year eh. kawawa naman pride ko. haha feeling), okay rin pala ang na-resection. Mas marami kang kaibigan. BUUUUT, I still miss and love ii2 to BITS. Miss na miss na miss ko na talaga, and I will take them anytime of the day. HAHA LABO. :))

I think I'm done with my column. I THINK. Joy is the first person I've read my column to (since she is gonna make the layout anyway, so I don't see the point in keeping it a secret from her. haha), so she knows how it's gonna turn out. I edited it after we talked though. Added a few sentences, deleted things. Basta.

Thank You God for inspiring me today. And Joy rin. You know, your opinion matters a lot to me :) And I'm super glad I received positive feedback from you. Time to keep my fingers crossed for positive feedback from Papa (when I ask him to check it), and of course, the people who are gonna read it when the mag comes out in December :)

By the way, here are our pics (which Joy stole and edited) during Mels' 15th last Wednesday. Kaso wala si Mels sa pictures cause she was the one taking them. Sayang. Anyway,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MELS/SMELLYMELLY!!! Mwaah.

KC (karizza cumpas), Joy, Me, Nicole Torres :D

Okay, gotta go to Church. Anticipated Mass. Hihihi (evil laugh). Okay, labo :) Wait, may napapansin ba kayo? Walang title 'tong entry. Nakakatamad pala mag-isip :/

Wait, wait, wait. By the way, MEDYO publicized na 'tong blog na 'to. Hi KC, Pipi, Jodie, Amp, and Ode. If you're out there. Haha. Unti unti lang. Let's take it one step at a time :)

Tuesday, November 13, 2007!

HandWritten on; 1:35 AM

I feel that the deadline for the editorial is nearing (since ate Ja, one of the head artists, still needs to draw a cartoon for it) and I haven't even finished with my column yet (it's STILL rough). So I looked for two past issues of the mag and I scanned the editorials, which I honestly never read before. Soon I found myself skimming through the whole magazine, and I was dumbfounded by how well most of the articles were written. I was shocked at how I hadn't noticed it till now. I guess it's because when I wasn't managing ed, I never really cared too much about how people would think about the articles I wrote. The thing is, there are a lot of good writers in the staff and again I'm starting to question my capabilities. Why, why, did they pick me out of a pool of talented people, who could all possibly be better than I am at this? I mean, seriously, why me??

I know it's wrong to compare, but I can't help noticing how all the other older writers (some who already graduated) seem to be so much better than I am. No, it's not the age, cause I'm comparing the articles they wrote when they were in 3rd year with the ones I'm writing now.

I feel so incompetent :/

Demmet, I have to be freaking POSITIVE. I swear, when God shaped people into cookies (you know, the story where they turned out half-cooked--producing the whites, overcooked--producing the blacks, and just right--producing the Filipinos?), He forgot to sprinkle me with a wee bit of optimism.

Sunday, November 11, 2007!

HandWritten on; 3:36 AM

Thank You, God, I can finally say I'm truly, honestly, downright happy.

1. Retreat was such a BLAST. I had so much fun with iii1 and now I can say I'm looking forward to spend another year with them. ii2 will forever be my loveSSSS but really, who ever said you can't love both?

2. Column schmolumn--I finally made some progress. It's still a bit rough, so it needs a lot more editing but I'm keeping my fingers crossed on this being better than my 1st, which I realize now was such a blah read. Seriously. I found myself not interested in what I wrote. It definitely was a rocky start, but I so want to improve and kick ass. Pray for me.

3. Went to Mega today to have our (siblings, mama. but papa tagged along ,too.) long overdue oral prophylaxis. Haha. So now my teeth are sparkling white. Okay, not really. But nothing beats confident, big grins :))

4. Finally had the guts to wear high cut Chucks with short shorts. Not pekshorts, okaaaay? :)) But yeah, I did. Congratulate me.

5. During the retreat, Lia taught me how to play Falling by Keahiwai on guitar, and it was tricky at first cause you have to pluck real quickly but I'm finally getting the hang of it. I still can't sing while playing though, cause I need full concentration on plucking. But, yes, I'm making progress :D

6. Received Karizza's text. ii2 '06-'07s Christmas party at Tatalon (our designated community during 2nd year) is pushing through. Reunion! Woohoo.

7. Went to the park with Yennie today, even if Sunday isn't our park day (it's Friday, if and only if the weather's good). We talked, talked, and talked some more. And then I saw this... thing. I can't blog about it here because sooner or later, I will make this public but ohmygoodness. Oh my goodness, I can't get over =))

The only bad thing that happened to me today was that from around 630-715pm I thought my cellphone was missing. Ate yen and I were on our way from the park to her house (short walking distance) when I realized my phone wasn't in my pocket. So even if it was already getting real dark out, we went back to the swing (take note, the park is big and there are probably around 10 swing sets over there, so I could've dropped it anywhere since we walked around before settling with a swing set in the middle part of the park) and tried to look for it. Wasn't there. We went back to her house and I was praying to St. Anthony de Padua, patron saint of all lost things, that I clumsily dropped in on her bed. Not there. Ate yen texted Mama and asked her to check for my phone at the back of the car, but she wasn't replying!!! But she picked me up at around 715, and said the phone was with her :) So, really, that's not a bad thing. In fact, it's another good thing:

8. Didn't lose my cellphone today--was spared from Papa's wrath and punishment.

Hmm, I'm loving life right now :)

Monday, November 5, 2007!

HandWritten on; 4:36 AM

Thank goodness for Sikeroh. I've been going crazy over my second column, because whenever I try to sit and write something decent, the words just don't COME OUT. It's like every time I know it's something to be published, I CAN'T WRITE. I don't know why, but I feel nervous when I know what' I'm writing is for the mag! Lalo na column. Gooood, pressure pressure. Yeah yeah, I know it's self-implied and I know I could handle the situation with grace if I want to but I can't really help it! I wish I could set my mind into thinking that I'm writing for an ordinary blog--an informal, no-need-to-impress-anyone blog so that the words would just get into the blank computer screen! But nooooo, oh no no no no, I have this other blog. I have Blog which is supposed to be published in each issue of the mag for this school year. Haaay. But Sikeroh said "the world isn't a sad place." He said we should all smile. So, yeah... Wait, I haven't started writing the editorial.

I'm sorry, but it's so hard to be optimistic when the situation is forcing you NOT to be.

Thursday, November 1, 2007!

HandWritten on; 7:17 PM

I just learned that Jason Mraz is 30 years old. Demmet. He's twice my age!!! This is so unfair. But when you think about it, it won't sound as bad as when I'm 20. He'd be 35. Not bad, noh? And when I'm 30, he'd be 45. Okaaaaay laaaaang! Woot. I can wait for about 5 more years. Haha. Anyway, the reason I blogged is because I wanted you to watch THIS. Shoot, ang galing ko marunong na ko mag-link. Ngayon ko lang nadiscover. Hahaha. Okay, enjoy Jason. Watch the whole thing, superrrr galing/cute/hot/whooaaaa talaga. Lalalalalove him. Btw, I haven't done any homework yet!! Yey for me. Yey for cramming. I'm gonna start in a bit. Hehe. Ay wait, I have kwento! Haha. I went to Trinoma yesterday with my cousins (ate ling, ate joy, ate jax, ate jb, kuya toy, ate yen and tippy) and we watched Unrest which is this scary movie I really hate. I mean, I swear I hate hate hate watching scary films okay? Hindi ako na-aamuse. At hindi kaya nakakatuwang magtwist and turn sa seat ng movie house. AT sayang lang siya actually sa pera kasi almost the whole time, nakatakip naman yung mata mo, so what's the point dibaaaaaa? Pero ayun, I watched kasi everyone was watching e alangan namang mag-ikot ako sa Trinoma mag-isa diba. Hay nako. Pero in fairness naman, may cute dun, so medyo natuwa na rin ako. Except nung part na akala ko mamamatay na rin siya, nainis lang ako. Sabi ko kay ate jb, if he dies I'm really really gonna sleep my way through the end. But he didn't die, so I watched the whole thing with my eyes partly covered. His name's Scot Davis in real life, and I swear, ang hot talaga. Haha. Okay. Bye now.

--edit
I found Jason Mraz's blog!!