look how they shine for you

her.

Trixie
16 years old, trapped in an 11-year old's body
loves the scent of: cupboards, air conditioners, coffee, cinammon, and Bayo (as in the store)
moods too easily swayed by whatever music is playing
fickle, undecided, impatient, paranoid
Jason Mraz ♥
likes things clean, but is pretty messy
interested in photography (haha as if)
out of words

Saturday, May 10, 2008!

HandWritten on; 12:07 PM

My mom has 10 siblings.

I have 33 cousins, and another coming in about 4 months.

For as long as I can remember, my cousins have been nothing but my best buds, albeit we are divided into four "generations." First, there are the Kuyas who are in their mid-twenties. They are all working, they party together, and sometimes even join our uncles in their boys' nights out. More importantly, they are very protective of the female members of the second generation who are made up of girls and boys in their late teens and early twenties. The third generation's youngest member is 13, the oldest 18. I belong to this group. More often than not, the 2nd and 3rd generation merge, and the "line" between the two becomes a bit fuzzy since we all hang out a lot. Lastly, the fourth group comprises the children aged 12 and below.

Since I was very young, the set-up has been like this. We are a big group, divided into smaller subgroups. Nonetheless, still ONE big group. I remember our countless road trips to different parts of the country, a convoy of cars containing different families. We'd all swim together, build bonfires, play charades, and tell ghost stories. We'd attend parties of one another, with only a few guests who weren't members of the family. There'd be an extremely loud chorus of Happy Birthday, followed by a seemingly endless picture-taking, after which our jaws would hurt from smiling too much. We'd have karaoke nights that would end in dance and laughter. We'd have sleepovers, DVD marathons, impromptu movie dates, etc. All these made my childhood so memorable, and is still making growing up such a blast. My cousins are my best friends, and they are the reason I believe what The Ataris sings about.

Being grown up isn't half as fun as growing up. These are the best days of our life.

But as much as I hate to admit it, the growing-up part is over for some of us. Reality reared its head when out of the thirty-three of us, one got married. The truth is, when I hopped out of the car on May 8, and saw my handsome, nervous cousin, the groom, standing by the church door, I almost cried. In my head, someone was shouting "He's stepping to the dark side!!! He's getting OLD!!! He's gonna be an ADULT!!! He can't be a kid anymore!" I was beyond happy and excited, don't get me wrong. But there was a different kind of emotion too. I felt like somehow, my cousin was gonna be taken away by adulthood and responsibility and that his marriage would somehow weaken his strong ties with his cousins. He can't totally be part of the huge barkada anymore. What I felt was probably one over a hundred of what his parents felt, but it was still there.

After a while, the wedding started and the entourage walked down the aisle. My cousin looked happy. Then the pianist stopped playing Canon in D, and started playing a different tune. Someone started singing so softly. At first, people were confused and were craning their necks to see the choir and figure out who was singing. But then we figured it out soon enough.

It was the bride looking more beautiful than ever, walking with her parents, with a chordless microphone in hand.

Surreal.

The water works started. In the corner of my eye, I saw my best cousin, the groom's little sister, wiping her eyes and saying she didn't have a tissue. Everyone cried, I think. I started feeling extremely emotional. I was happy, that I'm sure of. So I was smiling, laughing, and crying at the same time. I must have looked like a wacko.

As the evening wore on, I realized something as I stared from the beautiful bride's face to the people around the tables. I wasn't losing a cousin. I was gaining one :)

Congratulations! :)