her.
Trixie
16 years old, trapped in an 11-year old's body
loves the scent of: cupboards, air conditioners, coffee, cinammon, and Bayo (as in the store)
moods too easily swayed by whatever music is playing
fickle, undecided, impatient, paranoid
Jason Mraz ♥
likes things clean, but is pretty messy
interested in photography (haha as if)
out of words
Thursday, February 12, 2009!
HandWritten on; 5:22 AM
Are you happy?
It's funny how such a simple question can make you think so hard and long, so long that your mind still kind of lingers on it even days after it's been asked. The question was given as a bonus on our English quiz the other day. People who took the question seriously could've taken a shorter time answering a Trig problem than answering it. Because when you think about it real hard, are you?
It's either a yes or a no. Stop the emo(ness?). Quit the drama. Just take your pick. They say happiness is a choice, don't they? So even if you aren't happy right now, you could always say yes to the question. Because once you decide that you're happy, I think you will be. Yes is the cue to start being happy today. And that's what I tried to do.
--
It's either a yes or a no. I chose the former, and I highly doubt you'd be able to do the same right now. I honestly don't get what's going on. I want to be part of whatever pain you're feeling, but you won't let me. Or any of us. Burdens aren't meant to be carried alone, if you have people willing to help out. I wish you'd stop trying to hold everything in, because it isn't doing any good for you.
--
I miss you. You. You. You. You. You. You. And You. I've long dismissed this feeling of regret for what had been lost along the way, but now I think it may be coming back. Maybe it's because high school is almost over? Now that I think about it again, sayang nga talaga. Wonder what would've happened had we all held on a little tighter. But that's over, and all there's left to do is try to glue everything back together, piece by piece. Hey, it won't be perfect. It won't be as good as it was before. But I wish it would be whole again. I don't want your name to disappear by the time I tell my high school life stories to my future kids. I want all of your names to be there, with no one forgotten or deemed not as important as the rest are to me.
--
the suicides and all who gamble away
and waste the good and substance of their lives
and weep in that sweet time when they should be gay.
-Canto XI, Dante's Inferno
--
We're all "a stitch away from making it, and a scar away from falling apart." It's everyone's case. Just saying. You're not alone.
--
look at the stars. look how they shine for you. i love you, even if i'm feeling weird and confused about whatever this thing is. i still think somewhere, deep down, you're there. same person. just a bit messed up right now.
